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A Haunted House (2013)
A Haunted House (2013)
I did not expect much from A Haunted House. I decided to skip seeing the movie in the theatre. I knew that it was not going to be the greatest, although I thought it might be at least good for a few laughs. I was wrong, dead wrong.
I figured the movie would be like Scary Movie (2000) or any of its 4 sequels. Why shouldn’t it be? It is a spoof movie like those movies. It was written by Marlon Wayans who also wrote all of those movies. He also stars in those movies. It is bound to be at least kind of funny like those movies, right? I thought it would be and that is why I watched it. I was sorely mistaken. I can honestly say that A Haunted House was one of the worst movies that I have ever seen. Not the worst, but certainly one of them. That is saying a lot, because I have literally seen thousands of movies.
The film is a spoof on Paranormal Activity (2007) and several other horror movies. Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) asks his girlfriend (Essence Atkins) to move in with him. As soon as she arrives, bad things start happening. Paranormal events occur and the couple eventually starts to think that their house is haunted.
I am not lying when I tell you that I did not laugh once during the entire movie. I knew that the movie would be raunchy and stupid, but it went way beyond that. Instead of being raunchy humor and stupid humor, it was just stupid and sick. Moments that were on the verge of being funny, fell flat because they were extremely unoriginal.
The movie was written my Marlon Wayans and Rick Alvarez. It was directed by Michael Tiddes. The cast also includes Marlene Forte, David Koechner, Dave Sheridan, Nick Swardson, Andrew Daly, Cedric the Entertainer, Affion Crockett, and J.B. Smoove.
A Haunted House is a comedy without the laughs. The movie is a complete waste of time and money. My only hope is that I am able to spare you the torture of viewing this rancid piece of excrement.
I rate this movie a 1 on a scale of 1-10.
Buy, rent, or run? RUN! And don’t look back.
Trailer for The Purge (2013)
The Purge (2013) (click on the title for my full review)
I’m not sure that I agree with this concept, but it will definitely be a controversial movie. It will be interesting to see how this movie pans out. How could you end a movie like this?
The film looks like it will probably be pretty brutal. It would really be a scary world to live in if all crime was legal for one day out of the year. I don’t think that would solve any of the world’s problems.
I’m not sure if this would be classified as a horror movie or a thriller. Probably a thriller.
Ethan Hawke continues to choose eerie and gritty roles.
The movie looks intense, but I’ll totally have to see it.
Lena Headey co-stars. You might recognize her as the bad woman from Dredd (2012)
The rest of the cast is hardly worth noting. It seems like the majority of the cast includes actors who have had very small roles in movies and are not popular. You probably would not know who I am talking about if I listed anybody else in this movie.
It is written and directed by James DeMonaco and produced by the people that brought you Paranormal Activity (2007) and Sinister (2012).
The film is set to release on 5/31/13.
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