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A Haunted House (2013)


A Haunted House Poster

A Haunted House (2013)

I did not expect much from A Haunted House.  I decided to skip seeing the movie in the theatre.  I knew that it was not going to be the greatest, although I thought it might be at least good for a few laughs.  I was wrong, dead wrong.

SmartAss - 1781.NEF

I figured the movie would be like Scary Movie (2000) or any of its 4 sequels.  Why shouldn’t it be?  It is a spoof movie like those movies.  It was written by Marlon Wayans who also wrote all of those movies.  He also stars in those movies.  It is bound to be at least kind of funny like those movies, right?  I thought it would be and that is why I watched it.  I was sorely mistaken.  I can honestly say that A Haunted House was one of the worst movies that I have ever seen.  Not the worst, but certainly one of them.  That is saying a lot, because I have literally seen thousands of movies.

A Haunted house Wayans Doorway

The film is a spoof on Paranormal Activity (2007) and several other horror movies.  Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) asks his girlfriend (Essence Atkins) to move in with him.  As soon as she arrives, bad things start happening.  Paranormal events occur and the couple eventually starts to think that their house is haunted.

I am not lying when I tell you that I did not laugh once during the entire movie.  I knew that the movie would be raunchy and stupid, but it went way beyond that.  Instead of being raunchy humor and stupid humor, it was just stupid and sick.  Moments that were on the verge of being funny, fell flat because they were extremely unoriginal.

A Haunted House sick

The movie was written my Marlon Wayans and Rick Alvarez.  It was directed by Michael Tiddes.  The cast also includes Marlene Forte, David Koechner, Dave Sheridan, Nick Swardson, Andrew Daly, Cedric the Entertainer, Affion Crockett, and J.B. Smoove.

A Haunted House Bed

A Haunted House is a comedy without the laughs.  The movie is a complete waste of time and money.  My only hope is that I am able to spare you the torture of viewing this rancid piece of excrement.

I rate this movie a 1 on a scale of 1-10.

Buy, rent, or run?  RUN!  And don’t look back.

A Haunted House Cedric

Trailer for Grown Ups 2 (2013)


Grown Ups 2 Poster

Grown Ups 2 (2013)

Can Adam Sandler do us all a favor and stop making unwatchable garbage.  He has not made a good movie for years.  Arguably his best movie in the last 7 years was Just Go with It (2011) and that is not saying much.  Click (2006) was probably his last good movie.  The majority of the movies that he made before Click were all hilarious in their own way.  After Click, all of Sandler’s movies turned into pure excrement.

Was the first Grown Ups (2010) not bad enough?  Do we really need to be subjected to a sequel?

In the first Grown Ups, Adam Sandler got all of his almost washed-up, aging comedian friends together (Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Tim Meadows, Dan Patrick, Colin Quinn, Maya Rudolph, Blake Clark, Norm MacDonald, Jonathan Loughran, and Dennis Dugan)to make a not so funny, not very family friendly, family comedy also with the likes of Salma Hayek, Maria Bello, Steve Buscemi, and Sandler’s wife Jackie Sandler and 2 daughters Sadie Sandler and Sunny Sandler.

So now 3 years later, he brought most of them all back together again and made a sequel.  Is it safe to assume that they are all actually washed-up this time since they are back for more?  He had to try to top the first one, so he added Taylor Lautner, Milo Ventimiglia, Andy Samberg, David Henrie, Alexander Ludwig, Steve Austin, Taran Killam, Nick Swardson, Shaquille O’Neal, Cheri Oteri, Erin Heatherton, and Melanie Hutsell to the mix.

I can’t believe Sandler pulled it off, but this movie looks worse than the first one.  I will most certainly skip this film in the theatre and I won’t even waste my money at the Redbox.  It would have to be free for me to watch this, and even that will be risky.

Dennis Dugan directed both Grown Ups movies.

The trash will be picked up on, I mean the movie will release on 7/12/13.

Top 13 Disappointing Current Redbox Movies


Top 13 Disappointing Current Redbox Movies

redbox box and posters

There are many terrible movies out there.  I have avoided renting movies at the Redbox just because they looked bad.  You know which ones that I’m talking about.  The ones that rip off movies that are actually popular by giving them similar titles and making the cover art look remarkably alike, but are actually knock offs that nobody should have to suffer through.  That being said, there are probably worse movies at the Redbox than what are on my list.  My list however, is a compilation of movies that actually looked like they could be good in one way or another.  Something about these movies made me go to the theatre and watch them, or go to the Redbox and rent them.  I made this list to save you time and money.  Don’t get duped like I did.  They might have a good cast.  They might look funny.  They might look scary.  They might look intense and full of good action.  They might look like they have a nice touching story.  They are none of those things (well, sometimes except for the cast).  They are poor excuses for movies.  Stay far away from these awful creations.

With my list I have included the cover art to the movies, so that you know exactly what to avoid.  I have not posted any trailers, because you don’t even want to waste your time with those.  They will trick you.  I have also listed my ratings of each movie.  My ratings are on a scale of 1-10.  My full review will be available for some of the movies.  If the title is highlighted, then you can click on it for my full review.

I do not claim to have seen all of the movies that are currently available to rent at the Redbox, but I have seen 76 of them.  Of those 76 movies, my Top 13 Disappointing Current Redbox Movies are:

VHS poster

1.  V/H/S (2012)                                                                      My rating: 1

Killing Them Softly cover

2.  Killing Them Softly (2012)

The Paperboy cover

3.  The Paperboy (2012)

Seeking a friend cover

4.  Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012)

fire with fire

5.  Fire with Fire (2012)

the man with the iron fists poster

6.  The Man with the Iron Fists (2012)                                   My rating: 3

silent hill revelation poster

7.  Silent Hill: Revelation (2012)                                             My rating: 3

Deadfall poster

8.  Deadfall (2012)                                                                  My rating: 4

The Possession cover pic

9.  The Possession (2012)

The Liability Poster

10.  The Liability (2012)                                                         My rating: 4.5

Lay the favorite poster

11.  Lay the Favorite (2012)                                                   My rating: 4.5

The Cold Light of Day poster

12.  The Cold Light of Day (2012)                                          My rating: 4.5

That's my boy poster

13.  That’s My Boy (2012)                                                      My rating: 5

Now that you know what movies to avoid, Check out my other Redbox related material.  Click on the links below:

Current Redbox Movie Reviews September 2013

Current Redbox Movie Reviews August 2013

Current Redbox Movie Reviews July 2013 

Top 13 Current Redbox Movies

Top 13 Current Redbox Movies Vol. 2

Top 13 Current Redbox Movies Vol. 3

Top 13 Current Redbox Movies Vol. 4

Netflix Clouds

Are you a fan of Netflix?  Click on the following links below for Netflix related material:

Netflix Watch Instantly Movie Reviews September 2013

20 Best Drama Movies Based on Real Life Available on Netflix Watch Instantly

20 Best Classics Movies Available on Netflix Watch Instantly

13 Best Mind-bending Movies Available on Netflix Watch Instantly

13 Best Comedy Movies Available on Netflix Watch Instantly

13 Best Romantic Comedy Movies Available on Netflix Watch Instantly

13 Best War/Military Movies Available on Netflix Watch Instantly

13 Best Gritty Action/Thriller Movies Available on Netflix Watch Instantly

Happy Movie Watching!