Daily Archives: May 11, 2013

A Haunted House (2013)


A Haunted House Poster

A Haunted House (2013)

I did not expect much from A Haunted House.  I decided to skip seeing the movie in the theatre.  I knew that it was not going to be the greatest, although I thought it might be at least good for a few laughs.  I was wrong, dead wrong.

SmartAss - 1781.NEF

I figured the movie would be like Scary Movie (2000) or any of its 4 sequels.  Why shouldn’t it be?  It is a spoof movie like those movies.  It was written by Marlon Wayans who also wrote all of those movies.  He also stars in those movies.  It is bound to be at least kind of funny like those movies, right?  I thought it would be and that is why I watched it.  I was sorely mistaken.  I can honestly say that A Haunted House was one of the worst movies that I have ever seen.  Not the worst, but certainly one of them.  That is saying a lot, because I have literally seen thousands of movies.

A Haunted house Wayans Doorway

The film is a spoof on Paranormal Activity (2007) and several other horror movies.  Malcolm (Marlon Wayans) asks his girlfriend (Essence Atkins) to move in with him.  As soon as she arrives, bad things start happening.  Paranormal events occur and the couple eventually starts to think that their house is haunted.

I am not lying when I tell you that I did not laugh once during the entire movie.  I knew that the movie would be raunchy and stupid, but it went way beyond that.  Instead of being raunchy humor and stupid humor, it was just stupid and sick.  Moments that were on the verge of being funny, fell flat because they were extremely unoriginal.

A Haunted House sick

The movie was written my Marlon Wayans and Rick Alvarez.  It was directed by Michael Tiddes.  The cast also includes Marlene Forte, David Koechner, Dave Sheridan, Nick Swardson, Andrew Daly, Cedric the Entertainer, Affion Crockett, and J.B. Smoove.

A Haunted House Bed

A Haunted House is a comedy without the laughs.  The movie is a complete waste of time and money.  My only hope is that I am able to spare you the torture of viewing this rancid piece of excrement.

I rate this movie a 1 on a scale of 1-10.

Buy, rent, or run?  RUN!  And don’t look back.

A Haunted House Cedric

Trailer for Captain Phillips (2013)


Captain Phillips Poster

Captain Phillips (2013)

This film is based on the true story of when an American cargo ship was hijacked by Somali pirates in 2009.  This was the first time that this had happened to an American cargo ship in 200 years.

Does anybody remember how America responded to this hijacking?  Do you remember Captain Phillips?

It’s hard to believe that happened about 4 years ago.

If this movie follows the truth closely, I think that it might have the potential to be a quality film and an Oscar contender.

The film is directed by Paul Greengrass.  Billy Ray wrote the screenplay, but Richard Phillips wrote the book “A Captain’s Duty: Somali Pirates, Navy SEALS, and Dangerous Days at Sea” that it is all based off of.

The cast includes Tom Hanks, Catherine Keener, Max Martini, John Magaro, Chris Mulkey, Corey Johnson, David Warshofsky, Yul Vasquez, and Michael Chernus.

Hanks has not had a great part for a while.  Could this be the movie that puts him back into the spotlight?  I will have to be there when it releases to find out.

The film is set to release on 10/11/13.