Category Archives: Don’t Watch This Movie

Zero Dark Thirty (2012)


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Zero Dark Thirty (2012)

The poster for the movie says, “The Greatest Manhunt in History.”  It should have said, “The Greatest Waste of Time.”  The running time of the movie is 157 minutes.  They literally could have cut the running time in half and told the same story and it actually might have been entertaining.

Zero Dark Thirty Strong

The movie is about the 10 year long “Manhunt,” capture, and killing of Osama Bin Laden after the attacks that occurred on 9/11/2001.

We all know by now that the fact that it took America 10 years to find Bin Laden and kill him is an absolute disgrace.  Of course, it was a great thing when it finally got done, but it sure took us long enough.  Zero Dark Thirty plays on that fact.  The movie is a very long, drawn-out depiction of the steps that we took to finally track down America’s Most Wanted and destroy him.  The film isn’t a decade long, but it certainly tries to feel that way.  It is so boring and slow at times that I wanted to turn it off at a number of different points.

Zero Dark Thirty Dark Chastain

The other thing about this film is that it is hard to tell how factual it really is.  It is based on a true story, but do we really know all of the facts?  Unfortunately I think that people will watch this movie and assume that it is 100% accurate.  How do we know the truth about what happened?  A lot of the information about the “Manhunt” is classified.  How will we ever know the real truth?

The film tried so hard to be this big epic movie.  It failed quite miserably as far as I am concerned.

Zero Dark Thirty was nominated for 5 Academy Awards including Best Picture, Best Actress (Jessica Chastain), Best Original Screenplay, Best Editing, and Best Sound Editing.  To me, that is so comical.  It shows that the Academy has truly lost its mind to even nominate such garbage in the first place.

Zero Dark Thirty Chastain

This movie was almost as far away from Best Picture as you can get.  The acting was mediocre at best, especially Jessica Chastain’s performance.  Not even close to top notch.    The screenplay was very un-original.  They took a story that everyone in the world knows about and turned it into a screenplay.  That is not original in my book.  There were so many unnecessary scenes that could have been cut out of the movie that it was a complete disgrace to filmmaking.  The editor should have been fired, not nominated for an Academy Award.

I’m glad that the movie only won an Academy Award for Best Sound Editing.  It was better that it didn’t actually win.  It technically tied with Skyfall (2012) for Best Sound Editing.  Skyfall should have won.  I don’t know what is more embarrassing for Zero Dark Thirty, the fact that it was nominated for 5 Academy Awards and only won 1 of them or the fact that the only one that it actually won was a tie for Best Sound Editing.

Maybe the movie only got so much recognition because Kathryn Bigelow directed it.  Her film The Hurt Locker (2008) was very solid and was nominated for 9 Academy Awards and won 6 of them.  That film made her the first woman to win an Academy Award for Best Director.  Were the Academy Award nominations for Zero Dark Thirty just a sort of blue ribbon recognizing Bigelow for her participation in trying again?

Bigelow had no support from her cast which most notably includes Jessica Chastain, Jason Clarke, Reda Kateb, Kyle Chandler, Jennifer Ehle, Harold Perrineau, Jeremy Strong, Mark Strong, Edgar Ramirez, James Gandolfini, Stephen Dillane, Frank Grillo, and Joel Edgerton.  Maybe the cast was not of much help because their characters had way more than enough time to develop, but they never really did.

Zero Dark Thirty Chandler

Kathryn Bigelow was in way over her head when she decided to direct Zero Dark Thirty and it shows.  The film is a steaming pile of cow dung.  The only decent part of the movie is when they showed Seal Team Six raiding Bin Laden’s lair.

1134604 - Zero Dark Thirty

I recommend staying as far away from this movie as possible.  Save yourself a precious almost 3 hours of your life and don’t watch it.

I rate this movie a 2 on a scale of 1-10.

Buy, rent, or run?  Run.

Top 13 Disappointing Current Redbox Movies


Top 13 Disappointing Current Redbox Movies

redbox box and posters

There are many terrible movies out there.  I have avoided renting movies at the Redbox just because they looked bad.  You know which ones that I’m talking about.  The ones that rip off movies that are actually popular by giving them similar titles and making the cover art look remarkably alike, but are actually knock offs that nobody should have to suffer through.  That being said, there are probably worse movies at the Redbox than what are on my list.  My list however, is a compilation of movies that actually looked like they could be good in one way or another.  Something about these movies made me go to the theatre and watch them, or go to the Redbox and rent them.  I made this list to save you time and money.  Don’t get duped like I did.  They might have a good cast.  They might look funny.  They might look scary.  They might look intense and full of good action.  They might look like they have a nice touching story.  They are none of those things (well, sometimes except for the cast).  They are poor excuses for movies.  Stay far away from these awful creations.

With my list I have included the cover art to the movies, so that you know exactly what to avoid.  I have not posted any trailers, because you don’t even want to waste your time with those.  They will trick you.  I have also listed my ratings of each movie.  My ratings are on a scale of 1-10.  My full review will be available for some of the movies.  If the title is highlighted, then you can click on it for my full review.

I do not claim to have seen all of the movies that are currently available to rent at the Redbox, but I have seen 76 of them.  Of those 76 movies, my Top 13 Disappointing Current Redbox Movies are:

VHS poster

1.  V/H/S (2012)                                                                      My rating: 1

Killing Them Softly cover

2.  Killing Them Softly (2012)

The Paperboy cover

3.  The Paperboy (2012)

Seeking a friend cover

4.  Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012)

fire with fire

5.  Fire with Fire (2012)

the man with the iron fists poster

6.  The Man with the Iron Fists (2012)                                   My rating: 3

silent hill revelation poster

7.  Silent Hill: Revelation (2012)                                             My rating: 3

Deadfall poster

8.  Deadfall (2012)                                                                  My rating: 4

The Possession cover pic

9.  The Possession (2012)

The Liability Poster

10.  The Liability (2012)                                                         My rating: 4.5

Lay the favorite poster

11.  Lay the Favorite (2012)                                                   My rating: 4.5

The Cold Light of Day poster

12.  The Cold Light of Day (2012)                                          My rating: 4.5

That's my boy poster

13.  That’s My Boy (2012)                                                      My rating: 5

Now that you know what movies to avoid, Check out my other Redbox related material.  Click on the links below:

Current Redbox Movie Reviews September 2013

Current Redbox Movie Reviews August 2013

Current Redbox Movie Reviews July 2013 

Top 13 Current Redbox Movies

Top 13 Current Redbox Movies Vol. 2

Top 13 Current Redbox Movies Vol. 3

Top 13 Current Redbox Movies Vol. 4

Netflix Clouds

Are you a fan of Netflix?  Click on the following links below for Netflix related material:

Netflix Watch Instantly Movie Reviews September 2013

20 Best Drama Movies Based on Real Life Available on Netflix Watch Instantly

20 Best Classics Movies Available on Netflix Watch Instantly

13 Best Mind-bending Movies Available on Netflix Watch Instantly

13 Best Comedy Movies Available on Netflix Watch Instantly

13 Best Romantic Comedy Movies Available on Netflix Watch Instantly

13 Best War/Military Movies Available on Netflix Watch Instantly

13 Best Gritty Action/Thriller Movies Available on Netflix Watch Instantly

Happy Movie Watching!

The Paperboy (2012)


The Paperboy cover

The Paperboy (2012)

The Paperboy delivers a story riddled with nonsense, boredom, trashy characters, gratuitous vulgarity, and wasted talent.  It was amazing the amount of scenes in the movie that were completely unnecessary.

The film is about a newspaper reporter (Matthew McConaughey) who teams up with his brother (Zac Efron) and a work colleague (David Oyelowo) to investigate the case of a prisoner (John Cusack) who is on death row.  Along the way, they get help from the prisoner’s pen pal girlfriend (Nicole Kidman).

The Paperboy movie

The movie takes it’s time setting the stage for what it is going to be about.  Once you understand the goal that the characters are trying to accomplish, the story takes a left turn and does not come back to the main point until it is no longer relevant.  In other words, the film is left without a purpose and you are left watching characters develop for a story that is hard to follow and no longer matters.

Much of the movie is narrated by Macy Gray.  Gray was an extremely poor choice for a narrator.  She is definitely no Morgan Freeman.  It seemed as if she had trouble reading her lines.  She mumbled her words very slowly and at times, she was hard to understand.  This took even more away from the film and made it harder to follow.

Film Review The Paperboy

Many times I was so bored with the movie that I wanted to turn it off.  Other times I wanted to turn off the movie because of how unnecessarily vulgar and pointless it was becoming.  I should have turned it off.  I wish that I had turned it off, but I wanted to see if it would get any better, and I wanted to be able to tell my readers my honest opinion of the entire film.

The Paperboy had a very capable cast.  They are all mostly good actors, but with the material that they had to work with, they were all doomed.  Nobody had a chance to give a standout performance because the writers had made sure of that with their dreadful dialogue and horrible storyline.

Do not waste your time or money on this worthless excuse for a movie.

I give this movie a 1 on a scale of 1-10.

Buy, rent, or run?  Run and hide!

I think that this movie could easily have won the prize for worst movie of 2012.  I was trying to figure out which movie was worse, this one or Killing Them SoftlyThe Paperboy takes the cake.  Beware!

the paperboy group stare

13 Awesome Actors, 13 Awful Movies


13 Awesome Actors, 13 Awful Movies

 

Unfortunately I had the displeasure of viewing these vile movies.  I was duped into thinking that each one of these films could do no wrong because of the awesome actors that were in them.  Boy was I wrong.  Do yourself a favor and stay as far away from these movies as you can get.

Anthony Hopkins: Alexander (2004)

 

Brad Pitt: Killing Them Softly (2012)

 

Daniel Day-Lewis: The Boxer (1997)

 

George Clooney: Syriana (2005)

 

Jeff Bridges: The Contender (2000)

 

John Travolta: Battlefield Earth (2000)

 

Johnny Depp: Before Night Falls (2000)

 

Kevin Costner: Waterworld (1995)

 

Kevin Spacey: HurlyBurly (1998)

 

Morgan Freeman: Dreamcatcher (2003)

 

Nicolas Cage: The Wicker Man (2006)

 

Robin Williams: The Night Listener (2006)

 

Tom Cruise: Interview with the Vampire (1994)

 

When I look at this list, I can only ask myself one question: What were they thinking?

Killing Them Softly (2012)


Killing Them Softly (2012)

It was one of the worst movies that I have seen all year and the worst Brad Pitt movie that I have ever seen. It should have been called killing the audience quickly. It was literally that horrible. I almost asked for a refund on my ticket. Thinking about it now, I should have gotten a refund on my ticket. You would have to pay me to watch that movie again.

English: Brad Pitt at the Berlin premiere of I...

English: Brad Pitt at the Berlin premiere of Inglorious Basterds in July 2009 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

With as excellent of a cast as this movie had, you would think they could do no wrong. Even if the storyline is bad, the actors will make it better right? Wrong! It was almost as if they tried to make it bad.

Scenes with Brad Pitt were bearable to mediocre. Scenes without Brad Pitt made me almost physically sick.

James Gandolfini was an absolute wreck and Ray Liotta looked like death.

The movie was successful in portraying drug addicts, alcoholics, and overall skuzzy people in a very realistic way. When you weren’t watching people cussing up a storm, drinking themselves to death, getting stoned out of their minds, getting shot in slow motion, or beaten to a bloody pulp, then all they were doing was blabbering back and forth to one another. The majority of the dialogue of the movie was diarrhea of the mouth except for when Brad Pitt or Ray Liotta was talking.

65th Festival De Cannes

65th Festival De Cannes (Photo credit: PanARMENIAN_Photo)

It was almost as if Brad Pitt was in a different movie than everybody else and they edited him in to their train wreck of a film to try to make it better. Instead of actually making it better, it just gave you a couple moments break from being terrible whenever Pitt was in a scene.

Do yourself a favor and stay far away from this movie. Save your time and money by not seeing it. I wish I had.

I rate this movie a 2 on a scale of 1-10.

Buy, rent, or, run?  Run.

James Gandolfini

James Gandolfini (Photo credit: Wikipedia)